i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
