I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
