I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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