i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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