why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
