I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
