the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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