IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
