Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
