i think my mom watched the whole time
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
