I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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