You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
