I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. Iβm going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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