how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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