I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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