god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
