home. puking in laundry basket.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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