no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I only lived at night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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