could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No subtext here. People are naked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
