i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
