Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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