We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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