i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
