shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
