I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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