eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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