Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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