I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
