You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
