Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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