I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
