Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
