I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
