I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize