i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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