I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
