Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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