No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
