Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
These tits shall not be calmed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
