I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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