girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
