I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize