Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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