i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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