i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
