If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
