I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
