the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
