as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
