a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
