I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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