I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
