btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize