I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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