I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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