I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
