Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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