so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
