Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Green mimosas i think yes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
