Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
