it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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