I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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