I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize