There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize