I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
