I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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